I learned again, my weaknesses do not define me, or even my success

Hampton Bay's duck

Taking our good friend to the temple for the first time

Howdy family!                                                                      

Wow what a week! Lots of neat people, lots of lessons learned, and many many miracles :) So funny how now it is so hard to remember it all now that I am writing you but I will do my best.

It was an amazing week to be a missionary. We had Presidents Interviews, Mission Leadership Council, and General Conference. It was about as exciting as Christmas! 

 It was a spiritually powerful week and an opportunity for a lot of self reflection. And a lesson I learned this week, that BLEW my mind. Probably shouldn't of, but I guess it’s about time that I learned it. As Elder Richard G. Scott said yesterday in General Conference. The Lord is a God of Justice and Mercy. He will punish our rebellions, and extend mercy towards our weaknesses. I realized something powerful. I seem to have it in my head that I need to be punished for my rebellions and my weaknesses and that is how I am to learn. Through gritting my teeth, enduring and getting through it. No pain no gain. But then during his talk, I realized that the Savior Heals and Strengthens through Mercy, Love and Forgiveness. So why should I think that I can somehow become better by beating up on and focusing on my weaknesses? Weaknesses are only overcome through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, or in other words, his grace and mercy. That is why God gave us weaknesses, so we could enjoy his mercy and learn to overcome through him. 

Also, Heaven is trying to tell me something. It was incredible to have my president's interview. And I learned again, my weaknesses do not define me, or even my success. I went in there thinking of all the different things I could and needed to change, but just came to find that President fully trusted me and that he wanted me to see how incredibly successful of a mission I had. I felt the spirit and knew it was true, but found it hard to believe as I thought of all the people I failed to talk to, days I failed to do this that or the other....blah blah blah.  Heaven sensed it wasn't sneaking in and so prompted a past companion to seek me out and try to talk to me. She sat me down and shared with me how successful I have been and how we had grown together. I was so grateful to her and her willingness to follow the spirit. And also grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is long-suffering to get through my thick head what success really is.  I have learned that success in God's eyes is not the absence of weakness, or even what we accomplish. It is trying to live worthy of the spirit, to love people, to be happy and better ourselves despite the opposition we face. God doesn't want us only to be successful, but feel it too. What does success mean to us if we do not enjoy it? No wonder I am so high strung and stressed all the time, I have had skewed ways of seeing it. Makes me so grateful for repentance and being able to change my perspective on things. 

We also got to talk to a lot of people this week from all over. Vietnam, Mexico, Brooklyn, Jamaica, Gianna, and Poland to. Even in the Island, there is strong diversity. Still neat to be able to preach the gospel to every nation. 

We are now off to go bowling with the other missionaries in our zone. This should be interesting! I love you!!