Feb. 5, 2013
Another cold wonderful week here in Flushing .
And I am still with my same companion, so no crazy changes to update you on
this week ha-ha.
One of the many miracles of the week: The Flushing chapel has
a beautiful and barely touched organ. I had the thought this past week that I
should try to play the organ instead of the piano as I accompanied the ward. So
I brushed away the cobwebs from high school, and started to play a little to
practice while all of us missionaries were waiting to go somewhere. It was a
miracle how much I remembered. I decided to give it a go yesterday in Sacrament
meeting. I have never been particularly good at sight reading, and I thought I
was crazy for trying to sight read, while the congregation was singing, on the
organ.....but I was blessed and the Lord able to do it. Also many of the branch
members never had the privilege of singing with an organ before and they really
enjoyed it and were very grateful. The spirit of the whole meeting was
different. I am so grateful that I took the time and learned how to play the
organ and that I had the courage to do it, even though I didn't know how it
would work out. I have never felt particularly "good" at hymn
playing, but then again I have never felt particularly "good" at
speaking Spanish, finding families, teaching from PMG. This week has been hard
because I am realizing that it doesn't matter. I think so OFTEN we refuse to
give of our talents, skills or of ourselves because we are scared that they
aren't at the mark that WE want them to be. It is so funny how we (at least I)
get so caught up in how good I am at something, when the Lord just asks for me
to trust Him and try, and seems perfectly comfortable in trusting His work to
me.
I had my interview with President this week. It was
incredible and exactly what I needed, it also was hard to hear. The night
before, in my personal prayers, I had the prompting to pray to receive the
correction and even chastisement if you will that I needed in my interview with
president. I just have been really stressed and kind of bogged down with
everything lately, and I knew something needed to change. When I prayed for it,
it startled me, because, my first impression was, "I don't want that!"
But I trusted and went with it. I got into my interview with president, and it
was exactly what I needed, and exactly what I prayed for ha-ha. Essentially, he
asked me some really hard questions, like, "Are you comfortable with
yourself?" and counseled me that I was being way too hard on myself. He
shared some scriptures that I had always read, but never applied like he
described it. I learned that we often doubt ourselves, and get frustrated with
our weaknesses, sins and mistakes when we have a loving Heavenly Father who is
perfectly familiar and understanding of these weaknesses (in fact his son Jesus
Christ suffered and died for them) and He is perfectly comfortable loving us
and trusting us with His work. It is not possible to love, trust in and be
comfortable in the presence of God, without first loving, trusting and being
comfortable with ourselves. I am very grateful for a loving mission President
who guides and counsels by revelation. In some ways, a hard doctrine to grasp--at
least for a person with a perfectionist tendency like myself. I am so grateful
also for a loving Savior who has provided a way for me to make such changes.
I love you all! And Allie keep up the good work! Oh and
Stephen, GET ON THE VISA STUFF!!!! I can't tell you how many missionaries had
to wait extra WEEKS at the MTC because of delayed Visas. You don't want that,
and I am grateful I am stateside and don't have do deal with it :) haha.
Megan
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